Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I don't even know up from down anymore

I want to start out by saying: Don't judge me. I have alot of frustrations going on inside and I just need to get them out.

The days are flying by and I am getting NOTHING done. We've been in this house for over a month and I still have boxes that need to be unpacked -- & not the junk boxes -- Actual stuff like my kitchen glasses and my blender... But I just don't have the motivation. Felix has been a total handful lately. I try to keep the day packed for him to learn and to stay entertained at the same time but it also hinders stuff around here. I'm barely able to skim by and I don't like it at all. Before Felix this house was like a museum and I had to TRY to find stuff to do to fill my day and now I don't even feel like I'm enjoying them because I'm just trying to get through them...

I need to set goals. I need to make a chart and just try to get stuff accomplished for 1 week. I think I'm going to do that. Small, simple, starter steps.

I had the stomach bug for 3 days and it sucked. Worst I have felt in FOREVER! I think Felix had a touch of it at the same time as I did so that made it hard on both of us. ((I know this post just sounds like a big pity me post but it's not I swear. I know I'll just feel better if I just get this all out...)) Lorenzo has it today. He kissed me last night and than today he walked it at 9am and told me I gave him the kiss of death. I'm not a dementor from Harry Potter...

Call of Duty: Black Ops came out today. That officially means NO more husband for at least a week. I can't complain though, he rarely plays.

Felix's first birthday is just around the corner and I don't feel like I've planned accordingly. I don't have invite and I don't have decorations or anything. I hate being so unorganized. I have a friend who will make his cake and other than that I've got nothing LOL. I think this weekend I'm going to Party City and I'm going to get everything that I need.

Oh crap and that reminds me that his party will be AFTER Thanksgiving and I don't have anything planned for that either... CRAP. Gotta start making my list for that too.

See what I mean about being a scatter-brain. There is just SO much going on. I will stay more connected though! Bare with me.

30 Days of Me: Day 2

Day 02 - Your Favorite Movie

I have always said that "Fools Rush In" was my favorite movie of all time. I don't know why. I guess because I understand the differences of an interracial relationship that 'I just get it'...I dunno. I really like the acting and everything and in my opinion it's a good story line.

However, last week I watched Julie & Julia. Didn't like the movie at all. But I get it... She found herself. It took her until she was 30 to finally understand herself and find something to get her through the days. I sort of feel the same way. Since having Felix I feel like my days are sooo rushed. I have a million things to do at the end of the day that I wanted to get accomplished. I never set any goals for myself anymore, I live to serve this house. I love my husband and my kid and the life that we have but I don't do anything for me anymore and I don't like that. I wish that I had something set everyday so that I could really accomplish it and be proud of myself. I have to find what that would be though. For Julie it was getting through the cookbook in a year. Who knows what it will be for me?

Sunday, August 29, 2010

So this is what it feels like to lose your mind...

I am so serious when I say today has been ultra stressful. Lorenzo went to go visit some family that he has living not too far from here. I chose to stay back because I've got so much to do to get ready for the movers. However, I knew that Lorenzo needed to visit these family members before we left because we've been here almost a year and he hasn't gone.

I love Felix -- I really do but it's really hard to pack with a baby running behind every one of your steps and than crying whenever he bumps his head, not to mention the meals and naps that I had to tend to as well. All part in raising a baby, I totally understand, just maybe today wasn't the day to have Lorenzo flea the nest for a day of pleasure.

Got our bags packed for the plane and alot of stuff disassembled for the movers and also had someone come over and gather the stuff they had stored in our garage. An overall successful day but I'm pooped and my back is killing me. I have this sickness when it comes to packing that I need to take EVERYTHING with us...I just can't leave some stuff behind. When I really went through the clothes I had packed for myself and out of the 9 shirts and 6 pairs of pants/skirts I took out just one of each...I tried.

You've really just got to take this kind of stuff one day at a time. I know everything will work out in the end but I want to make it go as smooth as possible. I also realize that I can't control everything but that's hard to let go because I feel like I have to have a firm grasp on everything around me.

So I'm done for the day -- It's 7:30pm and I'm de-stressing. I have an apple pie in the oven and I'm going to savor it when it's done!!! Lorenzo is on his way home and soon Felix will be heading to bed and I'm just going to take a nice relaxing shower.

I will let you know how tomorrow goes after the movers are out of here -- I know I'm going to be surrounded by cardboard but at least I'll have the laptop to keep me sane and Felix to keep me entertained!!!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

30 Days of Me: Day 1

*Your Favorite Song*

My all time favorite song is "Still Fly" by Big Tymers. I love me some hippity-hop music -- Always have. It has always been my favorite song since as long as I can remember. It came out in 2002.

When we lived in Alaska we didn't have radio -- At least none that I can remember or music that I would even want to listen to. Dad always had cassette tapes of oldies. So that is basically what I grew up on...until we moved to Texas in 1996. I started listening to the top 40 station in Houston (104.1 KRBE) and than the rap station (97.9 KBXX). My favorite rappers are from the South especially Houston & New Orleans.

From the Fairy Blog Mother

I'm going to start blogging again -- It's a nice release and with all the hectic crap going on right now I need it. Life has been so crazy and uncertain for the past 6+ months that I can't believe I'm still sane. I can't say that 2010 has been the best year ever but it has def been one hell of one! We've decided life's journey with Lorenzo finally choosing his career path which will be the Navy, we were in a car accident which has required a TON of doctor visits, we've lost our beloved dog Babee and my best friend's mother Candy, traveled home twice and planning the upcoming trip in just 5 days, enjoyed every single second of being parents to Felix & now getting ready to move again in just 2 days.

For the past 2 days I've been trying to get things together for this move & also our flight back to Houston. I've got rubber bins everywhere and tons of crap running through my mind! I keep thinking "I've gotta remember that..." and not a pad in sight to write it down. I don't have the memory that I wish I did.

I really hate to move away from Seal Beach -- I totally love it here. I love the small town feeling & all the old people everywhere. I love how close and convenient we are to everything and the beautiful beach that we live right next to! Hopefully the next shore duty or some other orders will bring us back!

I've seen several of my friends doing blog posts of "30 Days of Me" & I'd like to join in the fun. Everyday I just blog about the topic of the day...Simple enough I hope LOL.

Day 01 - your favorite song
Day 02 - your favorite movie
Day 03 - your favorite television program
Day 04 - your favorite book
Day 05 - your favorite quote
Day 06 - whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 - a photo that makes you happy
Day 08 - a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 - a photo you took
Day 10 - a photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 - a photo of you taken recently
Day 12 - whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 - a fictional book
Day 14 - a non-fictional book
Day 15 - a fanfic
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 - an art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 - whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 - a talent of yours
Day 20 - a hobby of yours
Day 21 - a recipe
Day 22 - a website
Day 23 - a YouTube video
Day 24 - whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - this month, in great detail
Day 28 - this year, in great detail
Day 29 - hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 -- whatever tickles your fancy